Rachelle

1. Know Thyself
First, know who you are and what you want.

2. Be ready and willing to do what’s needed to create the relationship you want; go for results. Avoid getting caught up in who is right.

3. Relationships thrive when both parties feel free to create the life they want; be willing to end codependancy.

4. The quality of our relationships are a reflection of the quality of our agreements; know your standards, boundaries and agreements - both for yourself and for the relationship.  And create solid agreements as the foundation.

5. Orient the relationship by honoring personal and professional goals that are important to both parties and nurture the common goals of the relationship.

6. Communication sustains realtionships; communicate everything that honors its growth; make a conscious choice to be consistent and keep your word.

7. Clarify the purpose of the relationship and take actions that honor it; relationships create the dynamic tension that helps us become more than we would be on our own.

8. Place attention on everything that enhances the quality of the relationship and creates a better life; doing so creates abundance.

9. Deepen your ability to live from a place of trust and the impassioned living that comes from serving others; Renew what fuels the relationship.   Being loving and serving others will bring you more happiness than being loved and served, as the latter creates dependency.

10. Create a life that is totally managed so the focus is no longer on your needs, but on empowering others–your parnter–to meet their needs.

Change is something you go through all the time, though you may not realise it. You cannot actually see change happening, you just see the results of change. Sometimes change is easy, other times it is a long and torturous process.

How difficult change is depends a lot on your attitude towards it and your resistance to it. Your attitude to change can itself change, and make the whole transformation process much easier to bear. It all depends on your perspective.

Imagine change as a pair of shoes, this will help you understand change and how it works. Let me explain.

I am sure that you have at sometime in your life had a comfortable pair of shoes. You know the sort I mean. A pair of shoes so comfortable that you really don’t want to ever get rid of them and you wish you had bought a dozen pairs at the same time. They fit your feet so perfectly you can almost forget you are even wearing shoes.

You know you need a new pair, and may even have them, but you don’t want to wear them because you are comfortable with your current pair. Besides, the new pair may hurt your feet, give you blisters or be awkward to wear to start with. So, you resist the new shoes. However, a part of you knows that this new pair would be much better for your feet, and after the initial discomfort would probably be even more comfortable, yet still you resist.

Do you know I’m doing this now? I’m wearing my comfortable shoes and they feel good. They have a hole in each heel, and the sole is starting to fall off, but I’m persisting in wearing them. I even have a new pair of shoes under my desk as I write this. But my feet are used to the old comfy pair. The new pair is tighter, and hotter in this summer weather. I know I shouldn’t wear my old shoes because they cause a callus where the inside of the shoe has worn thin, but still I persist.

This is a metaphor for change in your life.  You get stuck in a rut (which is, incidentally, just a grave with the ends kicked out), and get comfortable with what you have and where you are.  You stick with these old patterns because they are comfortable and familiar.  You know where you are with them and almost everyone has a fear of the unknown.

I’ve done this many a time.  I stay in a position of comfort rather than making changes I know will benefit me because I am worried about the discomfort of changing.

However, once you take the leap of faith and make the change to your life, you will be more comfortable and will feel good.  Initially there will be some discomfort, but that’s because these patterns are unfamiliar and you are not used to them.  As soon as you become used to them, so they will become comfortable and you will wonder why you took so long to make the change.

And that’s it; you become comfortable with your new change and feel good with your new life … until you need another new pair of shoes!